June 15, 2018 ▸ History, People

Episode 306: Benjamin Franklin: The First American

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On this episode of The Sofa King Podcast, we travel back in time and look at the inventions, diplomacy, and crazy sex life of “The First American,” Benjamin Franklin. Franklin is one of the original founding fathers of the United States, and he is a true American success story. He was born the son of a struggling candle maker and was signed into indentured apprenticeship to his own brother as a teen. Eventually, he ran away and broke his contract due to his brother’s horrible treatment of him, and he ultimately settled on Philadelphia, which would end up being his spiritual home for the rest of his life.

While there, Benjamin Franklin got work as a printer and eventually moved to London to learn more about printing; while there, he learned more than the print trade, spending hours in European coffee shops philosophizing and sharing ideas with the greatest intelligentsia England had to offer. Eventually, he returned home and started to use his true genius not only as a printer but as a business man, financier, and politician.

In short order, he had what amounted to a monopoly on news and information in the colonies, became elected to top political posts, and became a wealthy land owner. From there, he spent more time in London and eventually Paris, where he not only became more inspired to overthrow the British rule of the colonies but also made a critical ally in France—the king!

Through some acts of deceit and politics, he gathered support of France, helped launch the revolution, wrote our most important founding documents, and had a lot of freak sex with people all over the world (one of whom was his wife). He was a pervert, an inventor, a humorist, a scientist, a meteorologist, a genius, and a statesman. He was what happened if you rolled Bill Gates, Bill Clinton, Bill Murray, and Elon Musk into one man a few hundred years ago and then sicked him against the colonizers.